and she spoke for hours or maybe it
was only for a few minutes but in any
case her words stopped making sense
right after a crude analysis of my life
and actions and watching her tear apart
my days like its a game took me by surprise
one i could not choose to ignore so i took
another sip of beer and let a drop slide
down my chin just to see how it feels when
something that cold clings to me, like apathy
to her eyes. theres no message, no hidden
agenda, no plans and no decisions, its just
her and i on my balcony, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. and
i know im a fucking cliché but i feel like i need
to ask
.
.

ko zapre vhodna vrata se ulezem
na njeno stran postelje, objamem
blazino in se potiho poslovim.
res je
sla.

stopi skozi vrata
se spravi na skripajoco posteljo
na vse stiri
je rekla, da to hoce
“za spremembo.”
potegnes z nje tisto poletno oblekco, ki je tam samo zato, da izziva
rada ima poljube po riti
po hrbtu
razmaknes njene noge
njena perfektna bedra
na odtis tvoje roke na riti reagira z glasnim vzdihom
(kako lahko uzivas?! ne smes!)
in ko zacutis njeno mokroto na ustnicah, jeziku,
ko vedno bolj pogosto stiska tvoja dva prsta v seb
trenutek pred tistim njenim glasnim ponavljanjem crke A
se ustavis in vprasas:
“in, si me pogresala?”
“ja.” rece med globokim dihanjem
z glavo nekje v blazini, ko se ji telo trese od pricakovanja
“fakju, ti si mene pustila. zapri vrata na poti ven.”

bright yellow shirt, dark purple
painted lips, collarbone i want to
k   i  s    s   .
christmas present come early,
i unwrap it too hastily, paper cuts
boasting on my fingers like battle
wounds i never learned how to
l i   c  k  .
desire, wrapped in cellophane
and evil words.

na boku. na kljucnici. na levi nadlaketi. na notranji strani stegna. tocno tam, kjer se stikata vrat in rama. za usesom.
z ustnicama se prilepi na mojo kozo in ostani. ostani tiste tri dni. sled tebe na mojem telesu. temno rdeca, mogoce vijolcna, nepravilne oblike, vcasih boleca na dotik. in vsakic, ko bom sla mimo ogledala, se bodo usta kar sama razlezla v nasmeh. dokaz necesa, kar je pasalo.
daj, naredi se dve, tri.
88.

on all fours, gripping the edge of my bed, look wandering to somewhere outside where the noise was, distracting me from her touch, suddenly she pushes harder, moans louder, my mind goes blank, i cant help but avert my eyes and im met with hers, staring right at me, and i can see the corner of her mouth rise a little, just like on her facebook photo;
” ….and.. please…. dont stop…”
last two words i apparently said out loud.

her breath, like sex and musk
i inhale it like a drug
begging
begging
for another hit.

ko prides (nazaj/spet) me ugrizni v ustnico
naj okusim tist metaln okus krvi
glej me v oci, ko obrises kapljo s prstom
pusti mi del sebe, ki ga lahko pobozam z jezikom
vedno, ko te ne bo (nazaj/spet)

and when she grips my head with her hands and bites her lower lip and i feel her fingers on my neck and i hear her moan and silently whisper my name and i wish she would just squeeze a little harder cus i dont want this night to end cus we both know tomorrow it will all change cus this will be forgotten cus shes there cus im here cus maybe this was never meant to be.

ko sledis vsakemu milimetru sline, ki si jo z jezikom porinila iz ust, si ogledujem tvoj obraz, nasobljene ustnice, polne oci, in skoraj ze odplavam nekam v prejsno noc, nekam v tisti drugi orgazem, ko naenkrat med nogama zacutim mrzloto te kaplje in pomislim:
“res ni potrebno.
vedno in vsakic me naredis tako mokro, da mi je ze nerodno.”